I was attending Secondary school(High school for you international readers) and it wasn’t too long before I acquired the bad habit of smoking whilst quite young.There was a mini Mart that would sell me cigarettes and they allowed us to smoke behind the shop.It wasn’t long before I began smoking marijuana and began to hang out with the other marijuana smokers in school.We would smoke weed at lunch time and after school.There was one classmate in particular who’s Mother would allow him to smoke weed once he was at home and they were quite wealthy so we began smoking weed regularly at his house.I can’t tell you how strange this is now looking back at it.His mother would even purchase food and drop us back home after,and we had a great excuse which was of course a lie,we were studying or doing a project.Strange enough we used to smoke alot,like alot of weed ,which even seasoned smokers nowadays would have trouble smoking and our grades weren’t really affected.Well on weekends we had a routine where the smokers clicque would meet at Saturdays and smoke.One of these Saturdays I went to this guy’s house and about four of us are there smoking weed and just talking nonsense and listening to music.Soon I heard some drums playing and people screaming so when I ask about it,I’m told that the people doing “Obeah” and that “them Hindus does do all kinds of madness “.
Well we continued smoking weed and the drums beating occasionally and I didn’t pay much attention to it but I felt like something was within me.The three of us leaving had to pass in front of where these drums were playing and it seems as though it was one of their celebration.Whilst approaching this place which I didn’t know at the time was a Shakti temple where Kali worship was being performed I was staring at what was happening within the compound slightly off the road.One man approached us and asked us if we wanted to enter.However my two classmates said they didn’t want any part of that and kept walking and they giggled as they saw me talking to the man.I spoke to this individual for a little while whilst he told me about “Mother” and what was presently taking place.I went and told my comrades that I thought I was going to stay and observe.
It was here that I had my first experience with “Mother” . I was sitting on a chair just observing,nervous and still quite high when I saw a woman begin shaking her head violently and I saw another man with some sort of fire in his mouth which I didn’t know at the time was camphor.People began to form a queue and I observed they were talking to the woman who had previously been shaking her head violently.I asked my host who invited me to attend what was happening and he informed me that “the mother come down on she and u could ask the mother for whatever yuh want and you go get thru”
I have to admit I was afraid but managed to conceal my fear.
I saw people going up to the “Mother” and she would give them things,sometimes she would say something and drums would beat,other times she would direct them to another person who my host Informed me was one of “the masters” who possessed that individual and his name was Kal Bhairo.I was sitting on a chair and people are crowded around these two persons who are possessed by “the mother and the master” and I see the girl who is possessed by the Mother walking amongst the crowd now with a man following her with what I understood was called a Taria.This individual was called a pujaree and was devoted to Ma Kali.
Mother begins touching people who I see making noises like they begin to get possessed as well and holds a new born child places a lighting square camphor in her mouth and sticking her tongue at the child.She says something to the mother of the child which I see another man writing down and giving to her.Afterwards I understood that she was giving Instructions about devotions that needed to be done in order to remove negativity and to ensure success for the child’s behalf.Mother soon points at me and I get up and begin to walk away and someone says “no,don’t turn yuh back to the mother,she want to talk to yuh”
It was here at this point my life changed and here Kali became my beloved.She walks up to me.The pujaree tells me to touch her feet which I did and to this day I don’t know what she said to me when she held me and pulled me close to whisper something into my ears.Drums were beating so I couldn’t hear so I asked her to repeat it but I began to cry and to this day I don’t understand how I felt the way I did and viewed things differently since this day, how a few simple words had such a life changing alchemical effect upon me. She took a “lota” and threw water on me and said something and I saw someone bringing her a Cutlass(machete) which she took and moved along my body all the while grunting and then she said to me” U come here cause I bring you,my children is my children”
After this experience I went home and mentioned it only to my grandmother and she was open and understanding of the situation .I visited the temple one day and the guy who was acting as my host told me he was visiting another temple in Chaguanas the following Sunday and if I wanted I could accompany him.I did go but this time Kal Bhairav spoke to me and told me” when yuh have trouble come and see me”.At that time I didn’t have any trouble and had no idea what he was talking about.I went ahead with my life as normal .I did continue attending temples and I once asked Kali to cause my family to see her the way I do.Though they were involved in spirituality ,they never had any interactions with Kali and had a negative opinion of Hinduism with the exception of my grandparents.Not long after that it occurred in an extremely mysterious manner to the point that some of them now take it super serious,even more serious than their previous practices.
Life and circumstances got in the way as I finished secondary school and I got arrested for Marijuana.I was still smoking marijuana and was speaking to a former classmate who now sold marijuana and we all got arrested for a massive amount of marijuana he had just acquired.I went to court and got bail.The case went on for months and was causing problems in my life.It prevented me from traveling abroad to visit family.I went to the temple and asked for the dismissal of this case and was Informed by Bhairav that “when yuh go to court on Monday it done”.I told him the case wasn’t Monday but the following Friday.He didnt respond to this.The following Friday when I went to court whilst waiting for my case to be called,There was a bomb scare and everyone had to exit the building .The fire service and police came and took hours and they then said that all persons with cases on that day would have to come back on *Monday*.When I did return on Monday I went into the courtroom as my name was called and all the months prior to this the magistrate would just give me another date and that was it.On this day however she asked me to explain what occurred and when I did,she dismissed the case.I was shocked.I decided to stop smoking marijuana after this and have not used it since but in offerings to Lord Shiva and Bhairav when calling upon them.
Anything I ask Kali for,whether it be something physical or spiritual has been granted in extremely mysterious ways.I once asked her to understand a certain magical subject and shortly after I came across someone who was an expert in what I wanted to understand who I met by ‘accident’ and he just divulged exactly what I desired to know.This one of the reasons I view her as a great teacher.
To me life is the greatest force that exist and Shakti is life force which is personified in the form of the goddess in the Tantric system and Indian mythological system.I can say from experience that Kali can be the most loving beautiful force in existence showering you with immense love and attention,but she can also be the darkest force that exist,destroying any demon,egregore,person/s trying to harm you.The force which is personified as Kali is basically energy like everything else in this universe so the power of the force depends upon the person/s manipulating the vast amounts of power and the gateway through which this force is approached.Kali in her forms as Tara ,Bhairavi and Dhumavati are unlike anything else.Years ago I performed a ritual dedicated to Goddess Tara.Whilst performing this ritual ,a homeless man came whilst I was chanting mantras and performing homa(oblations to the fire) and sat quietly next to me and began feeding the fire as well.Some time after,he began speaking and spoke like an adept of magic, informing me of things I still don’t understand.For the duration of the ritual,each night this individual would present himself and remain silent until I completed all tasks and then we would have a short conversation until the following night when I commenced again.
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Trini-Magic 